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The Tree of Bykski's Dreams
The Tree of Bykski's Dreams
"Trees, Trees, Trees," Bykski sings in his song about his joy at finding a tree of his dreams in the midst of all the thorns and thistles. "I hope it will grow," he thinks to himself, but it stays. "Don't be fooled by the mystery," Bykski's mother insists, "the tree will grow."
The tree of Bykski's dreams will be a beautiful tall tree, as beautiful as the forest, and as strong as oak trees. It will not be any different from any other tree that grows in the forest, though, because no matter how much Bykski wishes it was different, the tree is born into a world filled with conflict and contradiction. It comes from Bykski's own childhood with his parents, which are pushed apart by a man with an axe. All Bykski wants is for the tree to stand strong and grow. But even after Bykski learns to trust, to let the tree grow on its own, and to accept and love him for who he is, the tree of his dreams will still be threatened by his death.
The tree, by the time it reaches maturity, is a well-kept garden. The garden, by the time it becomes a tree, is a home. The tree will become a tree because it is ready for the task ahead of it, because it knows the challenges of life and has accepted them.
There is no way a child can know what a grownup may do to them. But while we may, or may not, realize this when it comes to people who claim to love us, a child may be able to do so when it comes to their parents. When they are ready for a relationship with their parents, that is.
A child is not yet ready for the task ahead of them when their parents are pushing them away and teaching them to fear. A child will come to the conclusion that the separation that they may experience when their parents are not there will be good for them if they keep away from it. A child will find themselves able to handle a separation when their parents have accepted their separation and come to terms with it. That is when a child can call a relationship with their parents in a relationship and not a love relationship.
Even though Bykski is taking care of the tree of his dreams and, perhaps, seeing it as his own personal tree, the conflict he faces is his own. He cannot seem to reconcile his parents' divorce with the divorce of his mother. He knows the difference between truth and lies, but that does not stop him from lying to himself and to others.
The tree has seen and done so much that it cannot be swayed by Bykski's actions, but it can see the changes Inksick Bykski is making in his own life and that of his parents. It has seen the pain and loss that are tearing both families apart. The tree of Bykski's dreams has seen the anguish that Bykski has felt since he was five years old, but the tree of his dreams knows that it can take comfort in the fact that, at least, Bykski will remain a part of the tree. So the tree is not fooled by Bykski's explanations and is not fooled by his words, but it is very, very weary.
Trees are not fooled by empty words and are not fooled by lies, but trees do not stay young forever. Even the ones that have children grow old. And a tree that cannot change the path of a love relationship may be the tree that is more perfect than the one of Bykski's dreams, and in that case, they may be the same.
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